My heart is torn!

Olet tällainen eri henkilö nyt!

Olet tällainen eri henkilö nyt!

Olet tällainen eri henkilö nyt!

Olet tällainen eri henkilö nyt!

I feel like you don't even try anymore. I've always known this wasn't going to work out. You're just too lazy and all think about is your self. I don't need someone like you who is just bringing me down. You have yet to ever help me out in any sort of situation. Its such a shame!

Olet hyvin laiska henkilö, joka vain ajattelee itseään. Pari päivää sen jälkeen, kun olemme hajottaa ja sen takaisin vanhat tavat ... mitä järkeä ei tekevät? Haluatko olla tulevaisuudessa minulle? No ajatella uudelleen, jos tämä kaikki aiot tehdä elämässä. Et voi edes ajatella itse. Et voi jopa löytää FAFSA verkkosivuilla kysymättä apua. Odotat, että asiat on luovutettava sinulle.

I'm sorry, but I deserve better than you!

I wonder...

Sometimes I wonder where my life would be if I never met David. I know for a fact it would be completely different. I'm not sure if it would be a good different or bad different. Makes me wonder...

Also, I have a little something for you mindless religious drones out there:
10 Reason Not to Have a Religion

I really don't understand...

I really don't understand why guys in relationships always want to go to strip clubs and watch porn...like really? You have a wife or your girlfriend what do you need the extra for? Now I know its not just guys and girls do it to, but I just don't understand it. Why do people always have strippers come to their bachelor or bachelorette parties? Why do guys always seem to flirt with every girl them meet? Why do guys constantly check out other girls? Why do guys lie about these sort of things? Its like we understand there are prettier girls out there than us, why rub it in our faces? Even if you don't know we pay attention to little things like that? Why are guys so focused on girls and sex?

I think about these questions all the time and I would love for someone to answer them for me...

I don't know if I'm the odd one out who believes all these things are wrong. I understand that there are some girls who do these things too (a select few), but really...guys do it all the time and its like all guys do at least a couple of those things on a day to day basis. I don't know, it frustrates me and makes me mad...

Pretty good...

So I decided to go on a mission and find some cute silver, ankle strap flats and guess what! I FOUND THEM! I actually bought them from Forever 21 for about $22 when you include tax. I know everyone will have them within the next week, but I really wanted them. The inside of the shoe is black and gray zebra print and suprisingly, they are actually pretty comfortable! If you want some like these for a reasonable price, check them out at Forever 21!

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Other than that, me and the boyfriend are back on good terms. He has actually been acting like the David Beamer that I originally fell in love with and I have missed it so much! He brought me flowers unexpectidly yesterday to say sorry even though he knows I don't like flowers. Oddly, I really liked the ones he got me and I am thankful he did that! We also made Strawberry Shortcakes this afternoon which were delicious! My first time actually ever trying them and they were pretty good.

Not only that, but I've been watching my calorie intake and I am now a size 00 in jeans! I am also starting to get a little bit of thigh space too! Anyone that knows me knows that I like to be thin and I'm not a big fan of being overweight! No I don't have an eating disorder and no I'm not trying to get one, I just want to be thin!

Honestly, I really have no clue what's going to happen between David and I once I move to Oregon. He says that if he were to move up there with me it wouldn't be for a while...to be honest, my thought is that long distance relationships never work out. I understand there are some cases where they do, but honestly I don't think that will be the case with us. I mean I want it to work but I just don't think it will. We are already walking on thin ice together and I don't think being miles and miles apart is going to help at all. Its not like there would be any visiting opportunities because David will more than likely still be broke, he will be working, and I will be going to school and possibly working too.

I'm sorry, but I'm not going to sit here and plan my whole life around someone that is willing to break little promises and not even try to plan out their own future. No I'm not going to break up with him, because I don't know which way things are going to go. Seriously, it all depends on how hard he is willing to try because I'm done helping. I've tried so many times, but nobody ever listens to me. They always have to learn the hard way.

Reality will finally smack him in the face soon enough...

Photo credit: Cobrasnake

Is it possible to be in a relationship without the couple fighting for at least 2 days in a row? I don't know, someone please answer this question for me. I know I get irritated easily, but should I be getting irritated this much?

I've been thinking...

So I've been thinking a lot lately about my little relationship situation. I've realized over this past year how different David and I really are. To be honest we aren't much alike. I've noticed that he is one of those people that like to party rather than taking care of important things which is the complete opposite of me. I would rather get my things taken care of and have time to myself and not go out and party and try new (illegal) things. Its like he doesn't care about what happens in the future and I need someone that knows what they want to do and doesn't plan their entire life on what I'm doing and decide they want to change their plans because I'm going somewhere else. Not only that, but he is a family person and I'm not. I hate the thought of family or children. I dislike little kids and I don't enjoy being around family-like things. It puts me in such a bad mood. Really, because of that one family issue I really don't think David and I would last very long. He is one of those people that need to be with their family and have some sort of frequent contact and I'm not...I really think that is going to mess things up in the future. Another thing is, when I go up north...I think we are really going to fall out.

I'm not trying to be pessemistic, but I am a pessemist and the way things are going right now I don't think its going to last that long. I want it to, but I doubt it will...its been just going downhill in the past year or so.

I liked the good old days

I miss how things used to be between me and David. When he was sweet and always nice, even if I was cranky or moody that day he would still be nice. Now its different since his parents moved...What happened to the cute little shy boy that used to ask if he could give me a kiss or a hug because he was scared. Now its like I have to tell him to stop, because I know nothing good will come of it. Also whenever I'm like PMSing he just decides its funny or alright to act mean to me back; seriously its not like I can help PMSing, I have no control over that I'm sorry. Its not only then, but when something doesn't go his way, or he is in some sort of financial situation with bills, or he's tired, or I don't want to do something he decides to take it out on me like its my fault.

Ugh it just frustrates me so much...I miss the David Beamer back in 2005-2006!